Both Ways
by Slash4Femme
Summary: Oz can't have it both ways OzGiles, OzWillow


_This is a fan-fiction story based on the _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ characters and universe. The main characters in this story are Oz, and Giles. I do not own Any of these characters or universe and am merely barrowing them to play with._

Both Ways 

Giles tells himself it can't happen. He tells himself it's wrong for so many reasons. He tells himself it has to stop. He schools himself for what he would do if a situation came up, goes over every possibility. In his mind he is always collected, clear headed, and practical. He is far too old to feel this way, he tells himself over and over again. Every time their hands brush and the heat shoots through him like he'd been lit on fire he schools himself not to show it. Every once in a while he looks up and meets a pair of dark eyes, so deep and old in such a young face and feels the heat rise to his own, until he looks away. Yet he really shouldn't have been surprised it happened in the end. When the first night they were alone together since, graduation, researching something, he couldn't really remember what, he looses all control.

He has Oz against the dining room table, kissing him. No they're kissing because Oz is kissing back pushing against Giles who has his fingers in Oz's hair and Oz's arms goes around Giles' waist. Then Oz pushes back, his face flushed, his lips swollen, Giles wants him so badly, and he knows this is a fight he's going to loose.

"Giles, I can't"

Oz's voice is soft and Giles can hear the need just as strongly in Oz's voice.

"I know"

Giles steps back putting more space between then brushing down his hair smoothing the front of his sweater.

"its just Willow. I. . .I love her"

Oz's voice is desperately unhappy.

"Yes"

Giles half turns away.

"Yes of course"

It hurts. He really never expected it to hurt this much. He'd known, known that Oz and Willow were serious, yet to hear Oz say it, say it about Willow, when he'd. . . when they'd never. . .Yes Giles had never expected it to hurt this much.

"Hey"

Oz's hands are on his arms and he struggles slightly to keep them from touching, to keep things from happening, but Oz's hand travel up to his face and he turns to look down at Oz. This tiny person, man, with his painted nails and unreadable eyes that had won Giles' heart.

"Giles?"

There's a question there that Giles doesn't know how to answer, and then Oz kisses him. Oz kisses Giles long and deeply, and he can't breath, he can't think because Oz is there, and suddenly nothing else matters. Oz's arms are around his waist again and Giles hands are in Oz's hair and they're back to where they started Oz against the dinning room table. Giles is pulling Oz's shirt off without quite realizing how they got to this stage, and Oz pulls away from Giles long enough to look up at him, his face flushed, breathing deeply, Giles almost regains the use of his brain. Then Oz kisses him again and he looses any ability to think once more. Oz's hand slides down Giles' chest, down to his hips, across the front of his pants, Giles gasps and Oz lets out a small hiss.

"We can't, we shouldn't"

Giles managed to get out before his brain shuts down again. Oz look up at him and shakes his head very slightly before kissing him. Giles puts his arms around Oz pulling him against Giles' chest kissing him like he means it, because he does.

They make it up to Giles' room. Oz is on the bed, Giles above him kissing, biting his way down Oz's chest. Oz's hands are on Giles' belt trying to unbuckle it and push his pants down at the same time.

"Say something"

Giles murmurs against Oz's skin, pulling his pants and boxers off in one movement.

"Anything. Oz just talk. please."

Oz gasps, his hands digging into the sheets.

"Giles, I. . ."

Giles licks small circles across the inside of Oz's thigh.

"Giles, please"

Giles lowers his head over Oz's erection, and Oz stops talking, and Giles stops caring.

Later Giles lies sprawled across the bed watching Oz dress, quietly and neatly as ever. Yet now there's a darkness in Giles' chest he knows wont leave him.

"Stay"

Giles reaches towards Oz, but Oz doesn't look at him.

"Can't. Willow might need me."

Giles closes his eyes suddenly feeling very old and very tired.

"you can't do this"

His voice is low, and even he hears the hurt and flinches.

"You can't have it both ways, you know."

Oz doesn't say anything and Giles hears him walk across the room and the door open.

"I do, you know"

Giles doesn't open his eyes.

"What?"

"Love you"

The door opens and shuts.

"And I you"

Giles says quietly, and opens his eyes staring at the closed door for a long time.


End file.
